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  • Writer's pictureObsidian Soft

How to handle irresponsible children?

Updated: May 15, 2020

Some children are born responsible while others struggle with responsibility. They fidget, are easily distracted and are scolded over and over again by their parents. What we have to understand is that one child is not the same as another and may have to be handled differently.


Another point to be noted is that irresponsible children usually have a focus issue. Focus may have an underlying problem. In the worst case scenario, it can be psychological and may require help. It is difficult to gauge when to call for professional help.

However, I believe that when the children have severe behaviour problems such as shouting, screaming or interacting with their peers, etc. and when they are beyond your control then there is no harm in consulting a psychologist/psychiatrist.


Don't be held back by such considerations as what will people say if you go to a psychologist. Your child is more important than the rest of the world!


Focus issue may not be psychological as long as the children are just being irresponsible and are generally interacting well with their teachers, friends and parents. In such a case, just be patient and wait for their brains to develop. The children just need time and will soon catch up with their peers, improve their focus and become more responsible.


In the meanwhile, you can help the children's focus and improve their responsibility factor by giving them timelines and milestones. For example, the children have to write an essay with three paragraphs. Write paragraph 1, paragraph 2 and paragraph 3 on a whiteboard in their room. Ask them to tick each paragraph once they have finished it. Slowly add the time factor to it. Don't exert undue pressure on them by giving a very short time.

For example, give them 15 minutes for each paragraph. This means a total time of 45 minutes for one essay. You may think it is a lot but think positively. If you don't intervene, I am quite sure that they will take much longer than 45 mins! 😉.


Now, all this requires more involvement from you and can be frustrating if you start comparing your children's progress with their responsible peers such as cousins, friends and class fellows but be patient...they will surely get there slowly and steadily. You will have to work harder with such children but they simply cannot help themselves. They are born different. Born to be curious and born to explore! Cherish your children and be flexible 😊.


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